hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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