i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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