How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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