Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize