The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
