I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
