that's an acceptable place to lick
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
