Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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