Small penises have feelings too.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
