perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
