so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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