Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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