Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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