Will you blow on my dice?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
