Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
