idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you will always have a special place in my vag
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
