my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize