this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just want nice things and good sex
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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