My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
