you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
