Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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