420 ftw
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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