just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
