It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Where is the hickey?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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