marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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