i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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