yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize