what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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