The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize