He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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