My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
