Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He felt like a one man threesome
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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