Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
