happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
