his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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