Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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