So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
