How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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