Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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