covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
