I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
