hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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