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My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He called his prostate his "boner button".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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