You just made me feel so damn special
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
