Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
