Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
