Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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