he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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