Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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