She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
