summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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