Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
