well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
