Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
