'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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