Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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