omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
