Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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