I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize