Sry I called you an 8
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize