And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
