ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize