So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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