I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
