I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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