thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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