You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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