Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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