i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
