He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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