We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
