so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
