I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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