I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
