i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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