Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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