Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
